This post is a complete mess, like me. And that's okay.

• Be kind to yourself.
• Social interactions are draining, and that is okay. Whether you feel drained after being with people or not, it can still take a toll on your mental health.
• Eating correctly. Of course, this has an effect on your mental health. You need certain vitamins to think and feel good.
• Know that alcohol and drugs have an effect way after you feel sober. It can mess with your chemicals and inbalance them. Limit these activities.
• Taking time to yourself. Do this often. Whether it is reading or playing video games, time by yourself will help a lot. It gives you time to get to know yourself and have a little think. Or the opposite, and gives you a little time to not think at all. 
• Have a balance in life, there is time to work, time to chill, and time to hang. Make sure you get a good balance and take time to learn what you can and cannot handle in life.
• Exercise. This does not mean going hard at the gym necessarily. It may just be a walk most evenings, something where you're not in a rush and have nowhere to be or no destination. This is one of the best things you could ever do for your mental health.
• Take time to listen to music and your thoughts. 
• Sleep. 7-9 hours a night is ideal. But it is better to wake up early than to go to bed late.
• Hygiene! It makes you feel better and is a calming process, a shower, brushing your teeth, skincare etc. Its relaxing and benefits your mental and physical health.
• Learn to be inspired. Inspiration can come from anywhere, you just need to see it.
• Be optimistic, this may backfire occasionally and leave you disappointed. But I stand by this, things do get better and you need to trust that sometimes things will go your way. 
• Don't push yourself. If you know you're pushing yourself too hard, take a break. No matter what you believe, nothing is worth ruining your mental health over, not school, not work, nothing. 
• Remember you are loved and that your loved ones will take care of you.
• Talk to someone. Whether your partner, a friend or a professional. They will understand. Don't underestimate what they will and will not understand. They will not judge you, and if they do they are not worth your time. 

For myself, I concluded that I needed to tell someone what was going on in my head. I was fortunate that I had supportive friends and mother. I spoke to many people, I spoke to a professional, I spoke to a few friends and I spoke to my mother about everything that was going on in my head and heart. The feelings I felt and the thoughts I had. And no matter how deep and dark they got, I was never judged. I got the support I needed. I am extremely grateful for this. Some don't have that experience. 

I will never understand someone who does not believe in mental health problems and who will refuse to support someone with them. 

A huge majority of people have mental health issues, big or small. It is not something that can go by unnoticed or unattended. 

Those who judge their friends and family by their mental health problems are toxic. It is completely out of the person's control. They can control whether they get help, how they deal with it, IF they deal with it etc. But they do not control the problem itself.

The problem will be there whether you are the healthiest person on earth. There are things you can do to minimise its effects, e.g. exercise, talking, meditation, medication etc. But the problem will always be there in the background. This does not make you weak. This makes you strong.

When you feel like everyone around you is living a picture-perfect life, admitting that you're struggling feels like a complete and utter failure. That's simply not true. Millions of people are working through mental health problems. Celebrities do, stars do, idols do, political leaders do, pretty much everyone under the sun does. It is not like a light switch, you cannot just turn it off. And that's okay. Don't see your mental health as a burden, see it as a challenge. A challenge to make you want to be a better person. A challenge for you to do something about it, be an inspiration, be proactive about yourself. If you're proactive about your mental health then other aspects of your life can only improve. 

Do not be embarrassed by your mental health. It's okay if some don't understand or don't get it. You don't always get to choose how you feel or how you are. Some believe, and I have unfortunately experienced this many times, that you are 'making it up' or being 'selfish'. And that's why many hide it. I refuse to anymore. And I never want anyone around me to hide their mental health problems, their thoughts and feelings matter to me. 

Because myself or someone else has different emotional processes as another, does that make us wrong or pathetic? No. 

Because myself or someone else may not see things how you might, does that make us wrong? No.

I love the people in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for them. But just as they wouldn't be able to fix a broken bone, it won't help my mental illnesses. And that's okay. They make me feel better and support me no matter what. And everyone needs that. Never push someone away who loves you and shows you support when you need it. But you also cannot expect your friends and loved ones to be able to read your mind.

Can you imagine, even for a second, having a fear and anxiety that you cannot control, that you probably don't even understand? It can be out of the blue or over something irrational. That's just the way it goes. 

So depressed (not sad, it is not the same thing), that you cannot move or feel anything? And you have no idea why. You ache mentally and physically. Everything is hard and you feel worthless and pathetic. 

You can't sleep or can't eat because of these feelings and thoughts you have no control of. You can't always have control over these things. That is okay. 

Imagine people telling you that you aren't sick because you have no physical symptoms of sickness. Just because it doesn't show on the outside doesn't mean it's not happening on the inside. And that should always be taken into account.

It helps when there's someone to talk to. Trust me. Don't feel embarrassed by your thoughts and mental states.

Never see someone with mental health conditions as someone who needs to be 'fixed'. They are not broken. They just need support and love. Compassion shouldn't be something we have to fight for. 

I lived a dual life for the first 15 years of my life. A public one and a private one. Sure it works for a while. But eventually it catches up with you and it just no longer works. To the outside world I lived a happy and wondrous life, the reality was that I was depressed and anxious all the time. Even my parents did not see this side of me. I was too scared to admit anything was wrong. 

What if I were prescribed something?

What if that something made me worse?

What if it was addictive or unhealthy?

I made every excuse to not talk about it or see someone about it. I was embarrassed and disgusted with myself. I soon realised, when I couldn't take it anymore, that I needed to do something about it. Yet I encouraged others to seek help and talk about it. I helped quite a few people battling similar things as me. If only I took my own advice earlier. 

I made sure people knew it was okay to not be okay. I think I saw it as more important to be strong for others, and I didn't think I could be strong if I were battling my own demons. I will never regret the day I admitted my problems and spoke about them, out loud. 

I now know how to handle my mental illnesses. I may not be perfect at it and I may not be 100% okay. But I am better than I have ever been beforehand. It's hard. It will never be easy. Some days are better than others. But I know I have the support I need now and that makes me stronger every day.

It's okay to admit you need (or want) help. You may be surprised by how many people will support you. New and old friends. You might gain friends or lose friends through this. Its worth it, and it is how it supposed to be. 

It doesn't matter whether you are winning or losing, what matters is that you're still fighting. 

I am NOT defined by my mental health situation. I am the girl who worked hard. I fought for myself and my friends. I laughed. I have friends. I have a family. I have a future. I have a place at university. I have a place in this world. I had a mental health crisis. But that DOES NOT define me or the support I give and receive.

I will always encourage others to seek support. 

If you want to try and deal with it yourself first that is fine. 

You can improve your mental health in so many ways. 

You can make sure you get enough sleep, an amount that works for you in all aspects. 

You can eat better, eat regularly, less sugar. More water (I know! its said so often), it really works. Less coffee and caffeine. Lots of iron! Red meats and spinach! 

Take time to yourself. Music, gaming, thinking, movies, tv, reading. Anything. It gives you time to unwind and be calm with yourself. No commitments, just you. Having a hobby (or a few) always helps. Male or female, a bubble bath or looooong shower have never harmed your mental health, in fact quite the opposite! It can work wonders. 

Remove or limit your alcohol and drug consumption. Yes, it may be fun, but it can take a huge effect on your mental health. It can leave you with imbalanced chemicals and vitamins that can affect you for days and weeks after. I know that seems dramatic, but that's how it works. Limit your drinking to once or twice a week absolute maximum.

But above all. 

Talk to someone. 

It helps the most. Whether it is a professional or a friend. It's going to help. 

I know you may think they won't understand, but more likely than not they will. And they won't judge you for it. Ask for help. A lot of the time your friends and family can relate. They have probably gone through something similar themselves or know people who have. It's unfortunately common nowadays. 

I would not normally recommend medications straight out. But sometimes it is what you need, and you will need to take some medication. Just always make sure it is not addictive. Make sure it's not a large dosage. You can always try a medication for a month or so and decide then whether it is right for you or whether you want to try a different one. Herbal medications (non-prescription) work more often than not also, and so do vitamins and supplements. Just don't overdo it. But honestly, even something as simple as meditation can help.


It takes courage to do these things for yourself.

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I am afraid. I am anxious. I am depressed. I cannot control my emotions. That is okay. It is not a disability.

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http://whatibeproject.tumblr.com

http://letstalk.12kindsofkindness.com

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/personal-stories

Before now, I never saw being loyal and loving deeply as a flaw. 

I will never not follow my heart.

I've always seen those things as positives not negatives. 
I never thought they would be something that affected me so deeply or something I would have to explain to someone else. 


While they may be flaws, I cannot and will not change. 
I would rather love too deeply than to not care at all, and I would rather be loyal than uncaring. 

I am loyal to an extent.
I know when to be loyal and when not to be. 
But I will do anything in my power to help my friends and loved ones and stand by them. No matter what. 

I take a while to fall in love, but when I do it is unconditional. 
Yes, that may lead to heartbreak or pain at times, but it is worth it in the end, or so I believe.

My loyalty and love go hand in hand. When I love someone there isn't much I would not do for them. I only ever want to do what is best for them, and us. I want our love to last.

My intentions are always pure.

I worry too much and overthink too much, I am aware of this. I am okay with this, although I am trying to change. I am trying to be less worrying and trying to learn to stop myself from overthinking before it gets too overwhelming. 

Yes, I worry. I worry because I care a lot. I worry about a lot of things in life, I worry about myself, my work, my friends, and most of all my partner. It may be overbearing at times, but I promise I never mean to be mothering or overprotective. It's just in my nature to worry. This may cause me anxiety and mental health problems, but I would rather be worrying than uncaring. I am trying to worry less, I am. 

I am trying to better myself every day. 

I have a hard time conveying my feelings to my loved ones.
I love hard. 

I am determined to have a healthy relationship. I want to have a relationship where we challenge each other to be better people. A relationship where we support and listen to each other. A relationship where we both are putting in equal effort, yet it all seems effortless. I want our minds and bodies to be healthy. 

I also want a relationship where a lot of good memories are made, lots of pictures are taken, a lot of fun is had, and where you can be yourself and be crazy without regret or judgement.

I promise to stick by my loved ones no matter what. I will stay through thick and thin. You cannot push me away. Pure love. 

I believe in soul-mates, I never used to. But from experience, I 100% believe they exist. And while they may not be perfect in every way or to others, they are perfect to you. You will never get a soul-mate who is already built into the person they are meant to be. Your soul-mate and yourself will require love and attention. 

Your soul-mate will need you to challenge them and encourage them. They will need your support and your confidence. 

You will have your ups and downs, phases you think you'll never get through. But you will get through them if you want to. If you need help, you should always be able to and want to turn to your partner.

When you fight, be mature. Try not to stay calm. Yell if you need to show your frustration, but never let it get out of hand. Don't be passive-aggressive or spiteful. You can work through every fight and issue in your relationship. There is a solution for every situation. 

It doesn't matter what anybody thinks. What matters is how you feel about each other. 

Don't let outsiders views get in the way of how you feel and act towards each other, it is not their relationship it is yours. 

Always be proud of your partner, even when they're being a little silly. Forget the past mistakes, but remember the lesson learned from them.

Remember you both need space and time to yourself; a healthy balance. 

For some reason, I do require communication between myself and my partner, not a lot. But enough to be called a healthy and loving relationship.

Relationships are not easy, they require work and attention. Sometimes it will not be 50/50, sometimes it will be 80/20, but you will suck it up because they need you and you love them. A relationship may be stressful at times. But by God, I can assure you, it is worth everything you go through. The end result will be amazing and pure and full of love. There will be no regret where there is love. 

At the end of the day, it's all about the first person you want to tell good news to.

I may come across as controlling or mothering but I promise I just care a lot. I have a lot of feelings. I'm just bad at conveying this in the correct way.

But know one thing, I love unconditionally. There are no bounds or borders to my love. Mental health, mine or my partners, will never change that. I may love too deeply, but I am okay with that.

This is a mess of a post, and I have not conveyed it well, but I never do. It is hard. I have a lot of feelings and a lot of hope. I am overly optimistic, but I am okay with that.

I may not be where I want to be, but at least I am not where I used to be.

I have only ever been in love once. I am in love. 

I am not weak, inferior or pathetic.

Everyone needs a few flaws to make them real.

Go where the love is.

I am content. 


"The pain that you have been feeling can not compare to the joy that is coming"
Romans 8:18

"You came near when I called you, and you said, "Do not fear."
Lamentations 3:57

“Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh. For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.”

Proverbs 3:25-26 KJV

My friends and partner have always been something that comes first in my life, and they always will. I think of them before myself and I am completely okay with that.

I have been told by many that this is a flaw. I refuse to see it that way. I refuse to believe that because I am loyal and care that it is a bad thing. 

I will drop anything for a friend in need or when my partner is in need. There is very little I won't drop if I can physically be there for someone; yes this includes university work. I would drop anything to know that my loved ones are okay and to be there for them. Some might view this as stupid, and that's okay. 

I view myself as a good friend because of it. My friends and partner should always know that I will be there always. Whether its a phone call, a hug, or advice that they need. Sometimes you just need a bit of love and support to get through the day. And there's nothing wrong with that. 

To be a good friend I believe it is a necessity that you are there to support your friends and loved ones, whether that is to the extent I do or not it doesn't matter. I believe you have to be a very open-minded person and a very understanding person. 

Judging a friend or loved one constantly isn't being a good friend. I believe and have been told, that I am a very understanding and open-minded person. I will never judge a friend by a few actions, only by overall character. And I will never judge someone by their mental health or thoughts related to that. I believe your character means more than all of this. 

Mental health is something no one should be judged for, not ever. Whether you have dark and unwanted thoughts in your head or do certain things because of a mental health problem, it does not matter. No one should ever be judged by that. I will only support people in this situation. It is not their fault. It sucks when they don't take your advice or don't want to do anything about it, it really does. But I don't believe anyone should have to deal with more pain because of such things. 

Please always stick by your loved ones when they need you, even if you don't necessarily agree with some of the things they think or do. It is unlikely to last. Stand by them, go with them to talk to someone if they need you, talk to them yourself. But never judge. 
Remember the good times and not the bad; as there will be far more good memories. 

Always love your friends from your heart, and never use them for your gain. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Give them second chances if you can.

By no means am I a pushover, not in my opinion. I am patient and lenient towards my loved ones, but I know when enough is enough. I am loyal to a point that may be seen as stupid and there is little that will cause me to dislike someone or not love them. 

People have flaws, it's what makes us human. And I want to know all of my loved ones' flaws. All of them. Because I love them more for them. 

My partner is my priority in life, along with my friends. But my partner is someone who I will prioritize a tiny bit more. 
If I am dating someone I'm dating them because I see a future. And I want them to stay in my life and I in theirs. I take a while to fall in love, but when I do I love deeply and unconditionally. I will stand by my partner through thick and thin, there is nothing that they can do to make me not love them. 
Again, I know when enough is enough. I know what I can and cannot handle, and I know what I can and cannot tolerate. 

I want my relationships to be healthy. Whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship. I want to be able to push each other and strive to be better people. To be kind to each other and everyone else. To be social together and apart. To challenge each other in the best ways. To support and stand by one another. I will stand by them if they stand by me. And I will love them no matter what.

It is not easy, I will never say that. It is very stressful and I cause myself a lot of anxiety and mental health issues over it, but I believe it is worth it. If a friend or loved one feels better or can take something good away from our relationship, then I have done good and I am happy with that success.

Never call me weak or pathetic because of my feelings or my dedication to my relationships. I am not. I am strong and to feel is to be strong, to be numb is to be weak. I allow myself to feel so much because it makes my life better in the long run.

I am not perfect, no one is, and there is nothing wrong with that.

That is just who I am. 

I do not see it as a bad thing.

Whether it is a flaw or not, I am unlikely to change this aspect of my life. 

I am content.


"As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart."
Proverbs 27:19